When it comes to addictive behaviors, we learn new tactics or use those we already know that also supports our “survival mode”.
There are a variety of these that we condition ourselves into understanding, what works and what doesn’t, to survive in our chaotic environment. Some of us are better at certain tactics than others.
When we move towards recovery, these tactics can actually be transformed into positive skills.
Initially, I had to try different “tactics” to figure out what worked for me in sustaining my addiction. When I started my recovery journey, this type of practice served me in figuring out what was going to work to sustain my recovery. Interesting how that works…..
My most prominent harmful tactic during addiction was becoming a “master” of manipulation. It served me to get what I needed to maintain my supply and needs. I also used it to get myself out of trouble and risky situations. I used it in my favor to the extreme without considering how it may be hurtful to others. I thought that if I was able to get others to “willingly” hand me what I needed, I wasn’t hurting anyone, besides I wasn’t stealing it, right? Now I realize how misguided that belief was. I am sure there are many others out there who can relate with this.
However, I have forgiven myself which was necessary to be able to move forward. Changing my thinking has allowed me to transform this tactic into a “skill” with my outreach to others and the community. I renovated the “art” of manipulation into something more positive, helpful and effective. I do not refer to this as manipulation anymore but rather influence. I am now a “master” of influence over my own experiences and in doing so I am able to inspire others.
Not persuade, convince , deceive or manipulate. Just inspire through the influence of setting an example. I have found that inspiration is a much more powerful force than manipulation.